Aspects of Loneliness - 5
"IT WAS ALL HIS OWN FAULT" - Luke Chapter 15
We all like a story with a good ending. In the last study we were thinking of the young man who ran away from home, lost all the money that his father had generously given him, but then returned to a loving welcome. The father was so thrilled that he told his servants to put the best clothes on his son and prepare a great welcome home feast. It seemed the perfect ending to what had been an episode of loneliness and heartache. Sadly that was not the end of the story, for, as we read in Luke chapter 15, the reaction of his older brother was not all welcoming. We shall see in his attitude that there was ANGER, ACCUSATION and ANGUISH.
First, think of...
ANGER
As Jesus told the story, the first part ended with the delightful words, "So they began to celebrate." This was the long-lost son and brother back home again. The father's broken heart was already beginning to heal as he saw the son he loved, and who had been away for so long, now back in the family circle once more. He could picture how pleased his other son would be to see his younger brother back with them.
But that is not how the story ends. We read, "The older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing and asked one of the servants what was going on. When he was told that it was a party to celebrate the return of his younger brother, he was furious and refused to go in." Now the father's joy turns to sadness as he realises the anger that is burning in his older son's heart. An anger that would not be calmed. The father pleaded with him, but the young man was full of self-pity and self-righteousness, without a single spark of brotherly love. Now his anger turned to...
ACCUSATION
Just listen to his expression of self-pity: "All these years I have been slaving for you, but you never gave me a young goat to celebrate with my friends." It makes me wonder if he really did have any friends. I am sure that here was one very lonely young man - out of sorts with his father, out of sorts with his brother, and out of sorts with himself. And it was all his own fault! His father loved him and wanted to befriend him, and no doubt there was nothing his brother would have wanted more than for him to join in the celebrations. But the older brother's anger and self-pity stood in the way.
Perhaps you can identify with this man? You have anger and jealousy tearing at your heart, and you cannot control it. Like the older brother, you blame everyone but yourself. Listen to his self-righteousness as he protests to his father: "I have never disobeyed your orders." Then he presses home his wild accusations: "you never gave me a young goat.... but when this son of yours" - notice that expression carefully, not "my brother" but "this son of yours." He says, "When this son of yours, who has squandered your property with prostitutes, comes home, you killed the fatted calf for him." He is accusing his brother of total immorality, and he is accusing a loving and gracious father of unfairness and favouritism.
What an accusation! And yet it is possible that you may be ready to accuse and blame a loving God for the situation in which you find yourself today. God, Who gave His only Son to die on a cross for your sins. Because everything is not turning out as expected, you are ready to blame Him. Is this the reason for your loneliness and depression? If it is, may I say very gently but firmly, that it is not God's fault. If your attitude is like that young man's, then the problem is of your own making.
We see next in this story, the father's ...
ANGUISH
He pleads with this lonely, disillusioned and angry son: "My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." You see, you've got it all wrong. The young goat for a party of your own was always there for the asking. You are now the only person in my will; everything I have will be left to you. It is true that my younger son has wasted his share, whether with prostitutes or not I don't know, the important thing is that he is back home. My love reaches out to him, and I am the one he has wronged and sinned against, not you. If I am willing to forgive him and welcome him, won't you? But there was no response from this angry young man. He has made up his mind and nothing would change it. Not even the love of his own father! The father did his utmost to resolve the problem, but ultimately it was a problem that the son had to solve himself. His loneliness was of his own making.
There is real lesson for us all in this story told by the Lord Jesus. I think there is something of the spirit of the older brother in most of us. Pride and jealousy can make us bitter and resentful, and that is the very spirit which shuts us up to ourselves, and makes us lonely people. As always, the healing will only come through genuine repentance and seeking forgiveness. This is the way back into fellowship with others, and it is the only way back into fellowship with our Heavenly Father if we have grieved Him.
You may remember that when Jesus told this story it was not principally for His disciples, but for the Pharisees and religious leaders of His day. He knew that despite all their religious activities many of them were bitter, angry and resentful. They were not willing to allow those they regarded as sinners into their synagogues. They saw themselves as the only righteous people and even said, accusingly, of the Lord Jesus, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them!" (Luke 15 verse 2).
In his letter to the Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 30, Paul tells his readers: "Do not grieve the Spirit of God." He concludes the section by saying: "Let all bitterness, wrath and anger... be put away from you, along with all malice." So it is clear that these are the very things which grieve God's Spirit. In the story the older brother's attitude was all wrong. It is a picture of us grieving the Holy Spirit. When that happens we no longer enjoy his fellowship, and we become cut-off and lonely. The glorious message of the Gospel is, that even if you have sinned and are bitter, angry and frustrated, if you will come to the Lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness, He is far more ready to forgive us than was the father in the story. We must come in repentance and faith, remembering that the One to whom we come is the Saviour of the world. Only He can dispel our sense of loneliness with the wonder of His abiding presence.